Pearl Harbor (2001)

Though 2001's Pearl Harbor might not be Michael Bay at his most explode-iest (that distinction would probably go to at least six of his other movies), the explosions that do take place are the most meaningful in his oeuvre. That's because in Pearl Harbor, Michael Bay gets to blow up the country he loves.

Pearl Harborfeatures many stars who, though at the height of their fame when this movie was made, were mostly unmasked later as talentless frauds. Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale, and Josh Hartnett all frolic around emoting about love and war, using World War II as background scenery. The bad guys, meanwhile, are depicted as slanty-eyed Bad Guys, Japanese "Others" who wish harm on the soft lighting of Kate Beckinsale's bounteous American bosom. And as a special bonus, with a runtime of 183 minutes, you get to watch the war unfold nearly in real time.