Jumper (2008)

David Rice (Hayden Christensen) is a young man with the ability to "Jump" -- he can teleport anywhere he wants. Naturally, his first deliberate act is to make everyone think he is dead, run away from his dad, and rob a bank. This is actually a fine opening for a story about using your powers to find personal redemption, but the movie does not go this way.

Cut to four years later and David has used the money to buy an incredible New York City loft apartment. There is no reason to assume he isn't still robbing banks. He is actually seen ignoring a drowning flood victim on the live news, whom we know he could easily save by teleportation, but instead he teleports to the kitchen to make a sandwich. Then he teleports to the fridge to get a soda. It's like, what a jerk. Why isn't David morbidly obese? He never has to move. All he needs is to decide whether it is more convenient to be sitting or standing at the next place he teleports to eat. My guess is it's more convenient to sit.

Anyway, Samuel L. Jackson shows up in a snowy-white wig to announce that there is a secret society called "Paladins" whose mission it is to destroy all Jumpers. Jackson zaps David with an electric tether that stops Jumpers from Jumping and then announces with the fury of God that no Jumper should be allowed to keep Jumping without facing the consequences of it, so help him Jesus.

First of all, what a gigantic leap forward in human evolution. Why is it somebody's job to keep Mother Nature from doing her job? I mean, it's just a wig. Second of all, he's meant to be the bad guy only because we're rooting for David, but David is clearly an asshole. Third of all, why is this an action movie about Jumpers versus Paladins? That's just stupid!

Then there's Millie (Rachel Bilson), David's old flame from grade school who gets dragged into his junkie's nightmare after he shows up (apparently) from the dead with the Jumping Police hot on his tail. She repeats over and over that he's acting strange and mean while he insists that nothing is wrong and suddenly Sam Jackson is shooting a flamethrower at her in the Sahara desert.

At one point, David saves himself by Jumping a double-decker bus at Jamie Bell as they fight in the desert, or something. Every single person in that bus is presumably dead or else trapped in the desert. But David survives. Evidently the buried lesson is, that's evolution. You can thank Mother Nature for that.