At last, all the twisted mysteries of Twisted are unraveled in this final chapter. As witnessed in previous chapters, in fact, the twisted mysteries of Twisted are so twisted that they threaten the very fabric of the film's universe. Indeed, as John and Jessica step outside to engage in their final showdown, they find their surroundings disappearing into a thick fog which helpfully literalizes the murkiness of the plot. Not even the editor can help Jessica now, as the tribulation of assembling this movie has surely left him hospitalized with a severe case of credits.

Meanwhile, in an astonishing display of resilience considering he drank roofies and was unconscious ten seconds ago, Mike has leapt into the water AND fashioned himself a raft to paddle around. Even more remarkable is Mike's hair, not only for its fashionable middle part, but also the fact that it never even gets wet. Nevertheless, despite his small victories, Mike is unable to prevent John from burning his hand with a cigarette, imprinting the killer's "signature" and confusing us very much as to how this relates to the staged suicide upstairs.

Speaking of said staged suicide upstairs, in this chapter John finally reveals the missing pieces of the puzzle, which we present to you here in their simplest form:

THE SOLUTION
John actually killed Jessica's parents because he loved her mother, even though upstairs John said George killed her mother because John told him she was cheating on him with hippies, which was the payoff for the whole "partners tell each other everything" thread. But apparently none of that happened, because here's what actually happened: John was "curing" Jessica's mother of her "disease" (i.e. being a slut) by killing her, because she was ruining John's life, George's life, and her own life. John thought hippies weren't good enough for Jessica (or her mother), which is why John killed her sex partners. So it turns out this whole serial killer business was a way for John to teach Jessica the lesson that being a slut doesn't pay. Additionally, John throws in, "Don't you get it? It's all about control!" which has nothing to do with anything.

Clearly, no one in the audience should have any more questions because this totally answers all of them. The film has covered all its bases by supplying not one, but several unrelated motives for John's killing spree:

1. Partners tell each other everything false lesson
2. He hates hippies
3. He's addicted to killing
4. He was in love with Jessica's mother
5. He was teaching Jessica to be a better cop
6. He's VERY conservative and considers female sexuality to be a disease curable by murder
7. "It's all about control"

This barrage of meaningless information is surely intimidating (not to mention dangerous, in this unstable narrative netherworld), but Jessica show incredible resourcefulness by using her walkie to contact the one character in the film who is SO meaningless that he might provide adequate backup here: Wilson. While Jessica's brain cells are steadily exterminated by John's "explanations," Wilson is such a flimsy character that he may as well be the volleyball from Cast Away and is thus immune to this threat, saving the day. This is lucky for everyone involved, considering that this film has not shown Wilson the kindness of giving him any character traits or storylines.

Nevertheless, John is happy to give Jessica credit for her ingenuity, announcing, "Well done, inspector... You outsmarted the master!", although Jessica shoots and kills John before he can explain in which area he considered himself "the master." Of course, this unanswered question is nothing compared to a belated shot of the entire police department hustling out of the bar, implying that everyone was sitting around getting wasted and listening to Jessica in trouble over the radio instead of helping her; on the other hand, this certainly seems a fitting conclusion to the story of a police officer who spent all her time getting wasted instead of helping other people.