Casey stands alone in her bedroom wearing a twinky outfit borrowed from Tina. Joan suddenly knocks on the door, sending Casey into a panic to put on her bathrobe before her mother comes in. Joan finally enters the room with a shopping bag containing a dowdy new outfit for Casey to wear to the Harvard alumni tea.

As they approach the building for the tea, Joan continues admiring these new clothes while Casey struggles to tell her mother something important and secret. However, Joan repeatedly interrupts her to proclaim how thrilled she is that Casey is attending this event andknows what is really important.

At the tea, Casey mingles with a sophomore student who enthusiastically attests that "physics rocks." Joan is thrilled at the prospect of Casey making friends with this girl, and announces to Casey's dismay that they have nothing but time to go over "the ENTIRE physical sciences syllabus."

As Casey admires herself in the mirror, clad in the uniform of her secret lifestyle, it is useful to consider that in cinema, reflections of any kind are always symbolic. Thus, the viewer is invited to speculate regarding Casey's internal dilemma as a closet "figure skater." But this is only a bit of private experimentation for Casey, and her mother's knock on the door is an intrusion that inspires Casey to yell unequivocally, "Just a second!" Some things Casey does NOT say include:

• "Come on in!"
• "Count to five and then totally come in!"
• "WHAT TINA'S OUTFIT WHAT!"

Therefore, it is rather shocking when Joan barges in like the Kool-Aid Mom against her daughter's wishes when she might have been naked. Besides the unbearable thought that this might have anything to do with the film's overt lesbian subtext, there is only explanation for this incident: Joan is deaf.

While this seems an unlikely scenario at first, it is worth considering Joan's symbolic deafness to her daughter's needs, clearly demonstrated in this chapter. In addition to ignoring Casey's protests, Joan repeatedly interrupts her daughter when she's trying to come out (you know, as a "figure skater"), and in response to Casey's explicit request that they leave the Harvard alumni tea as soon as possible, lauds Casey for her excitement. If Ice Princess originally included a subplot dealing with Joan's profound deafness, it was probably cut for being way more compelling than a nerd who learns to ice skate.

In any event, Casey certainly feels nervous about telling her uptight mom she's secretly a "figure skater," but on the other hand, this "Harvard alumni tea" most closely resembles an organized lesbian recruitment convention, shedding a whole new light on this chapter. Before going inside, for example, Casey began that classic coming out speech, "There's something I have to tell you..." -- immediately causing Joan to embrace her daughter and proclaim how happy she is. While this may further indicate Joan's deafness, it is possible that Joan is truly relieved that Casey turned out to be a lesbian in what is obviously a family tradition.

It is hard to deny this possibility as Joan sets Casey up with the enthusiastic Penelope Goode, whose ion particle accelerator took first prize at the Quantum Club championships, and whose even greater accomplishment is maintaining composure when Joan chimes in queerly, "You know what I think is great? If everything works out with Casey's scholarship, I'm sensing that you two will be spending scads of time together." But while Joan is eagerly arranging for Casey to go off to college and become very close with a girl she can experiment with (you know, "scientifically"), it is apparent from the twinky sleeve emerging from under her jacket that Casey would rather be experimenting with her forbidden love interest: Teddy.

Thus, the real drama of Ice Princess becomes clear: in an exclusively homosexual community, Casey Carlyle harbors the terrible secret of being heterosexual.

With the Quantum Club Championships around the corner, can Penelope overcome her worthlessness and rock out in front of the whole school? Hint: YES, BECAUSE SHE ROCKS!