Opening credits roll, sparkling against an icy background marked with swirling tracks. These tracks belong to Casey Carlyle (Michelle Trachtenberg), a teenage girl joyfully ice skating on the frozen lake behind her house. Casey's mother, Joan (Joan Cusack), holds up a math book and urges Casey to come inside and study. Casey bargains for five more minutes of skating.

The next day at school, Casey's science teacher, Mr. Bast, encourages Casey to pursue a science scholarship. As he talks, Mr. Bast prepares toast on a Bunsen burner. He advises Casey to develop a summer project that is both "unusual and personal," offering her a letter of recommendation as well.

Casey meets up with her friend Ann (Amy Stewart), who is also a "nerd" like Casey. Ann comments dreamily that one day, a cute boy will need math tutoring from her. The two girls are approached by one of the popular girls in school (Hayden Panettiere), a pretty blonde named Gen who hands them an invitation to her boyfriend's party -- so they can deliver it to someone in their next class. Casey and Ann are totally flabbergasted.

Ice Princess begins simply enough, with an attractive opening title sequence blemished only by Michelle Trachtenberg's name. Interestingly, Trachtenberg is billed third, after Joan Cusack and Kim Cattrall, briefly teasing the viewer with the prospect that one of these older ladies might actually become the titular ice princess. To be sure, this is a more intriguing premise for a feature film than the story of a girl who dreams of ice skating and is already great at ice skating, as we see a few moments later: Casey glides and spins on the ice with remarkable skill for a bookworm.

If this opening sequence seems straightforward, however, it is worth listening more closely to the pop-rock song on the soundtrack, provided by Disney Channel stars Aly & AJ . Specifically, take the following lyrics:

I am moving through the crowd
Trying to find myself
Feel like a guitar that's never played
Will someone strum away?

And I ask myself
Who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
And invent a whole new me

It is worth considering the potential gayness of these words -- for one thing, such "key" imagery traditionally symbolizes the male genitalia, which this seemingly innocuous song proposes rejecting, or "throw[ing] away."

If nothing else, however, these lyrics eloquently set the stage for Casey's journey of self-discovery, which continues as the audience witnesses Casey's next passion: science. We also meet Mr. Bast, who is immediately remarkable for being named after the Egyptian goddess worshipped by Dr. Ophelia Powers in Catwoman -- an estro-centric film dealing intensely with themes of feminism and femininity. And while Mr. Bast has taken Casey aside to explain that she is a science woman, not a catwoman, it seems just as likely that he might push Casey off a balcony to demonstrate the laws of physics (or, as we might, simply to watch her hit the ground).

Unfortunately, while it's nice that Mr. Bast believes in Casey and helpfully kick-starts the plot, we must also address the fact that he cheerfully prepares food on a filthy piece of science equipment undoubtedly coated with poisonous chemicals. (The careful viewer will also notice a subtle feminine motif as Mr. Bast pours a test tube filled with what appears to be the blue liquid used to advertise Maxi pad absorbency.) Ordinarily, of course, the school might frown upon a science teacher using the chemistry lab as a kitchen -- not to mention offering his biohazardous treats to a student, potentially threatening her life and setting a TERRIBLE example -- but at least the ingestion of mind-altering chemicals might explain why he thinks Michelle Trachtenberg is good at something.

In this chapter, we also meet Casey's friend Ann, who is briefly mentioned in the previous scene when Casey insists that surely someone else must be Mr. Bast's best student, such as "Ann, or... [rolls eyes] Wyatt?" Although we never meet the elusive Wyatt, the viewer cannot help picking up on the possibility that Wyatt is better at science than Casey, and therefore might also be a better ice princess than Casey. We do, however, meet Ann, who is not particularly adept at her role as the main character's best friend, given how appealing she is and how much we would rather see her movie than Casey's (especially if Ann turns out to be a Catwoman).

Finally, we are introduced to Casey's third and most alluring interest, as she is visibly overtaken with nervousness when approached by the cute and popular Gen. Casey is so enamored, in fact, that Gen's advance is filmed in slow motion while porno music briefly hijacks the soundtrack. The viewer is encouraged to remember this scene at any point when they think we might be making up this lesbian thing.