Under cover of darkness, Kelley attempts to hitchhike out of Putnam before catching a Greyhound bus. Samantha is able to catch him before he boards, and Kelley explains his hurt feelings to her before begging her to come to Boston with him.

Meanwhile, Jasper catches up to Samantha and begs her to stay with him, leading her to dump him on the spot and board the Greyhound with Kelley.

After the previous clip, it would seem that Kelley is awfully down on his luck for someone born rich, white, and allegedly good-looking; despite his success in prying Samantha's affections away from her good and loving boyfriend, Kelley's appearance at the 4th of July dance has resulted in his being more intimate with a drum set than the woman he loves. Fortunately, there is nowhere to go but up, demonstrated as the very next vehicle to pass Kelley is a mode of mass transit going to the exact place where he lives.

Once again, Here On Earth is reminiscent of London in the way its male lead is able to instantly sober up when it's time to be a drama queen. In contrast, Samantha is cool as a cucumber as her first question after "Where are you going?" is "What about your probation?"; surely, Samantha's unnatural composure masks her private dismay that Kelley's departure might ruin her ongoing psychological study of the two least intelligent men on planet Earth. Perhaps as evidence of his eligibility, Kelley buys his ticket and decides to sit on a bench instead of boarding the bus parked right in front of him.

Displaying further similarities to London, Here On Earth reveals itself to contain the most rampantly selfish characters since Syd and London, as Kelley and Samantha engage in the following conversation:

Kelley: You could have just danced with me!
Samantha: I was there with a date.
Kelley: I should have been your date!
Samantha: I thought I explained that to you.
Kelley: Yeah, you made your choice.
Samantha: Kelley, that's not fair!

In fact, neither of these people seem to remember anything that's happened in the movie so far, and are absolutely convinced that they have the moral high ground. For instance, Kelley passionately believes that his drunken spectacle at the dance would have been totally acceptable if Samantha hadn't been so rude and refused to dance with him. Meanwhile, as Samantha defensively utters the line "I was there with a date," televisions across the country are damaged as viewers attempt to punch her in the face through the screen.

Jasper appears on the scene suffering from a similar brand of amnesia, having apparently forgotten not only that Samantha is openly cheating on him, but ditched him to chase Kelley to the bus station rather than spend another minute with Jasper on the date she agreed to on. Thus, he cannot fully understand how epically humiliating it is when he starts sobbing and begging Samantha for love, instead of registering on Match.com or being single for a while.

Eventually, of course, Samantha makes her decision, offering Jasper some closure in the cruelest way possible: a fake-out that begins, "I can't go..." implying that she can't go to Boston with Kelley, and after several seconds, ends "...with you, Jasper." This last twist of the knife, even as she sets Jasper free, suggests that Samantha's sociopathic streak has gotten so out of control that she is now hurting people just to see if she feels regret. Clearly, this test comes back negative as she is shortly boarding the Greyhound to Boston.