Drew checks into the Brown Hotel for the first of his intended two nights in Kentucky. The receptionist inquires if Drew is here for the wedding of Chuck and Cindy, which he is not. Drew charges the stay on his company card, counseling the receptionist, "Let it rip." En route to his suite, Drew encounters hordes of partying wedding guests, whose drunken merrymaking spills loudly into the common areas of the hotel.

Alone at last, Drew briefly watches television before attempting to call Hollie, Heather, Ellen, and eventually, Claire. Not a single one of these women is available to take his call, and a lonely Drew resorts to leaning forward and willing his cell phone to ring.

However, in a sudden embarrassment of riches, Drew receives three phone calls in rapid succession, generating a comic sequence in which he attempts to juggle the conversational needs of his distraught sister, his chilly ex-girlfriend, and his former flight attendant. Unable to keep two thirds of these people on the phone for a meaningful period of time, Drew defaults to conversation with Claire, eventually admitting that his father is actually dead. Claire admits in return that she already knew this.

Drew's difficulty communicating, particularly with the women in his life, is on full display here. However, it is surely gladdening to see the lingering effects of Drew's undeniable charm; considering the speed and ferocity with which he was dismissed from Mercury Worldwide Shoes, it seems awfully generous that his company credit card is still active. We imagine, back in Oregon, someone in the accounting department nigh on discontinuing Drew's $500,000 credit limit when they chuckle to themselves and say, "I just can't do it. What a guy!"

On the other hand, Drew's interaction with the hotel receptionist marks the first in a series of instances in which direct questions or comments are greeted with apparent deafness or willful ignorance; although their exchange seems nonsensical enough ("You with the Hasboro wedding? Chuck and Cindy?" "I'm leaving Friday"), this is nothing compared to the miscommunications in store for Drew, and is certainly not surprising considering Charlotte's rampant quirkface, suggesting her last name may be "Colburn."

When Drew steps off the elevator, it is as if he has walked onto the neighboring set of National Lampoon's Elizabethtown, and as he weaves his way through piggybacking drunks and necking couples, the surrealism continues as one man aims his finger squarely at Drew and refers to him as "Rebecca," instructing him not to change the schedule "or Cindy will freak out." Drew's consequent haste to escape this hoppin' hallway is understandable; though his girlish hairstyle is adequate disguise for now, he would surely be unmasked as a foreigner if called upon to speak American English.

But if Orlando Bloom's diction could occasionally be said to require some work, it is fortunate that he can always rely on his greatest asset as an actor, that gracefully subtle and expressive face. In a sequence unmistakably included to give Bloom a chance to show off his craft, Drew picks up the TV remote and flips through several channels, reacting to each one differently based on how he feels about it. Observe how he shakes his head "no" to several violent programs, and leans forward with interest upon finding an infomercial.

When Drew's callbacks start pouring in, the viewer begins to understand what makes Elizabethtown and the surrounding area so special, as maintained by every character in Elizabethtown: similar to the Matrix or the island on Lost, Drew's bucolic not-hometown apparently has the ability to write and rewrite its own rules regarding the space-time continuum. When Heather calls back, she warns softly that when Drew begins crying, "it's gonna be for days." It would seem that Heather has gotten a head start on her mourning, seeing as Mitch has only been dead for one day, leaving open the possibility that Heather thoughtfully started grieving for Mitch before offing him.

All of this is not to mention the fact that only in this enchanted, down-home land is anyone able to keep three calls holding on their cell phone at once. (We also remember how Drew arrived here, Hogwarts Express-style, on a flight that does not exist.)

Heather also indulges in a bout of panic, citing their mother's sudden interest in cooking. Heather demands that Drew return home and deal with their mother: "She's out of control." While we can clearly see Hollie in the background fiddling around in the kitchen, this is hardly a woman out of control with anything but euphoria. Hollie passionately interjects, " I want to learn to cook. I want to learn to laugh. I want to tap dance!" We would ordinarily argue that culinary ambition hardly necessitates Code Red, but on the other hand, we saw those Elizabethtownian women cooking up a storm and who knows what they are capable of.

Meanwhile, Ellen (Jessica Biel, in case you had already disavowed her Gorgon-esque appearance earlier in the film) is back in Oregon, all dressed up and about to leave for dinner when Drew begs her to stay on the line while he deals with his sister. Ellen insists that she is late and has to get going, seemingly unaware of advances in wireless technology which would allow her to leave the room or even the building without hanging up. Instead, Ellen noisily dumps her bag on a nearby chair as if Drew had personally cemented her feet to the floor.

Drew clicks backs to Heather's line just to get off the phone with her, as Jessica Biel is clearly more appealing when distanced from her 80s perm by approximately 16 states, but Heather shrills on despite Drew's repeated chant of "I'll call you right back." He does, however, make one comment that suggests some future revelation: "...and there's a problem with the blue suit that I can't put my finger on." Ironically, the only problem with the Silly Blue Suit is that neither it nor Drew's enigmatic "problem" with it is ever mentioned again.

Through no action of his own (true to form), Drew finds himself compelled out of his past and into the future, symbolized by Ellen's wistful kiss-off and Claire's default availability. While Ellen's actual break-up speech is only 12 words in length ("It was real and it was great and it was really great," and the English language may never recover from such terrible writing), its profound effect on Drew is what allows him to begin opening up to Claire.

As for Claire, she has stayed on hold for the entire duration of her drive home, which must be remarkably nearby considering she made the trip in a mere 1 minute and 24 seconds, with no elliptical edits since we last saw her striding through Nashville International Airport. The alternative scenario -- in which Claire cheerfully held an inactive cell phone to her head while leaving the terminal, hailing a taxi, and riding home by herself -- isn't a ringing endorsement for her mental health.

Throughout her journey, of course, Claire knew Drew's father was dead and couldn't wait to tell him. All of which leads us to one obvious conclusion: there is no way on god's green earth she isn't part of the vast conspiracy surrounding Mitch Baylor's death.