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Catwoman
CLIP IN
00:38:57
CLIP OUT
00:45:00

SUMMARY

Patience is kept awake by the same late-night partiers who disturbed her earlier. This time, Patience tries shouting for them to turn it down, but she is rudely advised to "get a life." Patience proceeds to interrupt the party by kicking down the door, spraying soda water in the speakers, and assaulting the host. Patience informs him that silence was all she ever wanted.

Back in her apartment, Patience unearths a box from the back of her closet reading, "Open in case of dating emergency. Love, Sally and Lance." Patience cuts and dyes her own hair in the bathroom before donning a leather outfit and stealing a motorcycle to joyride, just like a cat.

Patience arrives back at the jewelry store, where she once more covets the garish diamond necklace. Coincidentally, she notices two men in the process of burgling the store. When the burglars notice Patience, they fire their guns at her repeatedly, but she avoids their bullets and beats them until they are unconscious. Victorious, she strides out of the store.

ANALYSIS

In this clip, Patience finally completes her transformation into Catwoman, complete with a new outfit, a new hairstyle, and a new vehicle. Any of these new innovations might be used to demonstrate a superhero's newfound identify and sense of purpose; in this case, Patience is revealed to have neither of these, as she demonstrates no special powers besides having a bad attitude and no dignity. In fact, Patience commits several crimes that real superheros might come along and thwart.

When Patience shouts across the alley for the partiers to turn down their music, it stands to reason that if the crowd can hear Patience yelling without any amplification, the music isn't really that loud in the first place. This would explain why no one else in either building seems the slightest bit troubled by this raucous gathering. Either that, or Patience's new Catwoman abilities allow her to shout unnaturally loud, just like a cat -- in which case the neighbors ought to lodge complaints against her.

In fact, as Patience crashes the party, kicking down the door and terrorizing partygoers with her newfound bravado, it becomes clear that she isn't doing anything a non-Catwoman couldn't do. Thus, the scene becomes less about any "empowerment" on Patience's part, and more about bullying people who are trying to have a good time. Fortunately, the film retains its authenticity by continuing to portray behavior that any pet-owner would see and respond, "This is just like when my cat rips out a soda nozzle and whips me!"

Since becoming Catwoman, Patience's moral framework has grown highly questionable: after destroying thousands of dollars worth of electronics at their apartment, Patience decides that her neighbors have still not learned their lesson, and deserve to have their motorcycle stolen. Upon arriving at the jewelry store with the intent to break in and steal its contents, Patience finds a couple of burglars who thought of this idea first, and decides that she has sufficient moral high ground to foil their plan. In the process, she is finally able to show off her most remarkable new asset as a superhero: an appalling computer-generated body double.

All this is to say nothing of the fact that nothing that transpires in this jewelry store -- two separate break-ins, shotgun blasts, wonton shattering of display cases, and a physical battle involving even more gunfire -- failed to set off any alarms or attract the attention of the police in any way.


ANIMATED GIF
Putting the "special" in "special effects" (1.8 MB)
AUDIO CLIP
What a purr-rrrrr-fect line reading (0.3 MB)
TRIVIA
Catwoman originally included a brief public service announcement, delivered into camera as she dismounted the motorcycle:

"All you kids out there, remember to wear a safety helmet when riding your bike. That's what Catwoman thinks is cool. Try not to imitate any other things I find cool, such as dressing up like a whore and burying my feces in sand."

THE MANY DEATHS OF PATIENCE PHILLIPS
INT. JEWELRY STORE - NIGHT

Patience: You boys thought you could come in here and steal all these beautiful things?

Burglars raise their shotguns and fire copious rounds into the exact spot where Patience was sitting.

The smoke clears. Patience's corpse tumbles to the ground and lies utterly still.

Burglars continue stealing jewelry.

INT. JEWELRY STORE - THE NEXT DAY

Police officers survey the scene, and Patience's dead body.

Officer: Why is she dressed like that?

SPOTLIGHT ON... FASHION
It seems that Sally and Lance have been encouraging Patience to release her inhibitions for quite some time, having gifted her this erotic leather ensemble in case of a "dating emergency." However, it is unclear whether Patience's friends are hoping she will use this outfit to get a date, or wear on a date. In either case, it seems unlikely that Patience should ever find herself in a romantic situation that requires her to expose her breasts individually with a pair of conveniently-placed zippers.
MEMORABLE SCREENCAPS
"GET A LIFE!" "YEAH, GET A LIFE, YA LOSER!"*
*actual lines from the movie
Perhaps the only thing dumber-looking than Catwoman: Catwoman wearing a bike helmet.
Apparently, Catwoman's "safety first" policy does not include stopping at red lights.
This movie thinks cats have horrible teeth.
JUST LIKE A CAT
This clip is rich in catlike behavior that confirms Patience's transformation into Catwoman. Watch as she...

...sprays soda in someone's face, just like a cat.
...sprays soda into speakers, just like a cat.
...whips people with a soda nozzle, just like a cat.
...rides a burglar like a surfboard, just like a cat.

Other examples include:

  • Patience kicks down a door, just like a cat
  • Patience cuts and dyes her own hair, just like a cat
  • Patience steals a motorcycle to joyride, just like a cat
  • Patience breaks up a jewelry heist, just like a cat
TRANSLATIONS
"Meow."
"I am an Academy Award winner. Yes, really."

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